Why?

Sometimes I just wonder why each of our journeys to get to parenthood has to take us to places that tests our patience and our character on the ultimate level... Was 7 years of trying to conceive, month after month of disappointment, injecting myself with scarey hormones,having every treatment option fail except for the last two and then losing those pregnancies, not enough to learn the lessons and build the character that we were intentioned for??
When we first started seeking treatment we were so excited because we thought maybe someone could help us achieve our dream.....after years of IUI's and HSG's and Clomid we were referred to IVF. We weren't ready for that so I started doing natural treatments such as acupuncture, herbs, bodywork and natural hormone treatments. After a year of that without success, we were referred to do laparascopy for endometriosis and then immediately referred to IVF after finding that stage 4 endo had damaged my tubes. By then we were ready for IVF. I was so excited thinking "how could this possibly not work ~ we are bi-passing the issue". I felt that the reality of becoming a mom was right at the tip of my fingertips (well, at least the RE's!) Two years later, 5 attempts at IVF/FET, two pregnancies and two miscarriages I was done. I was bitter, angry, beat down, and on my knees begging for mercy. That's when we decided to pursue adoption. There it was...a renewed sense of hope and optimism. This path was fresh, it was exciting and it was hopful. I felt like my "old self" again (mostly). Now, today....I feel frustrated, I feel bitter, I feel angry, I feel unheard, I feel like every path we take tests me in ways that I never expected or wanted to be tested. After all we went through....why can't this new path bring us joy without the headache and pain?? Why can't we just have this one journey be nothing but goodness less the frustration? Why do we continuously have to be tested?? Why couldn't we have ended this battle on the "up" note......no bad feelings, no frustrations, no causes for anger and bitterness.....I don't like feeling like an angry bitter person....I want to find my true person again, but this journey is just beating me down......sometimes I just want someone to wake me up when it's all over. I feel that I've learned so much from this 7.5 year long quest to find motherhood. But, I also feel like I'm done studying....I want some hands on training......